Different Name, Same Heart
by My Heart Within Wammy's House
Summary: Xion thinks that Axel is dead, and pursues a point in going on. Lea worries that Xion will not accept him for who he is now. What happens when he finds her about to commit suicide in the Radiant Garden? (Formatting may not be right) [One-Shot]


Xion let her eyelids slowly drift closed, listening to the soft _pitter-patter_ of the pouring rain. She was alone. She had been in solitude for so long, in fact, she was beginning to forget terms of the English language. The only time she ever spoke was when she whispered names from the past in her sleep. From mortifying nightmares, to beautiful, warm dreams, they were what kept the faces in her memory. Her nonexistent heart ached for people who she honestly was on the verge of forgetting, and there was one in particular who Xion had _never_ let fade away from the incoherent pages of her memories.

Axel.

She remembered him, all right. He was the first person to show her that Nobodies could feel. He was the first person who loved her, and the vice-versa. Axel was the first to hold her, the first to kiss her, the first to protect and be ginger with her. She remembered the day Roxas told her that Axel wasn't coming home, that he had faded back into darkness, the weight for perpetuity to carry on its shoulders. She had the recollection of falling to her knees, weeping at Roxas' feet, and feeling that her much-cherished world had been destroyed.

From that point on, every day was as cold as the night air. Xion couldn't even remember what warmth felt like, even when the sun was out in its luminescent glory. Without Axel, she didn't want to feel warm. Whenever Xion would see the flames dancing in the wind, she would almost sympathize for them. Forever dancing closer and closer to something that would never be, only to be put out, she felt that she could see their cries and mourns. Axel was gone, leaving the fire like an orphan in the cold, bound to die out without any support or care.

* * *

Every night, Lea shut his blinds. He resisted the sunset when it was screaming his name, calling out to him. He couldn't face the memories. There was once a girl who, for each fall of dawn, he would watch the sunset with. They never missed one together. He couldn't look at the sunset; because, when he did so, he saw _her_.

Xion.

She didn't know that he was still alive, and it killed him. The thought of her, searching for a point in going on, unable to sleep at night, cold, bitter, and unable to feel again, and all because of him. Where was she? Was she still alive? Had she faded into darkness just as Axel did, or perhaps committed suicide because she couldn't go on without him?

He loved her, and now that Lea had a heart, he _especially_ remembered that love that he had shared with Xion. As Axel, Lea had never believed that Nobodies could feel. That was before he met _her_.

Xion was the first person who sent an electric thrill throughout his body when she walked, the first person who he had ever showed his gentle side to rather than being compelling and maybe even frightening, the first girl who he had ever told was beautiful. No other girl could make him feel the way that Xion did, and that is why Lea would never love again. How could he?

Today, he was visiting his hometown, the Radiant Garden. He didn't know why he was there. His intentions weren't to let go of the memories of Xion, because he didn't want to forget them. That smile of hers was what kept him going. It was what got him out of bed in the morning. Sometimes he would have a dream that he spent the day with Xion, whether it was going out for ice cream and joking the day away, listening to music from Demyx's file on the computer all night, or even making love to her. Eventually, he'd wake up, only to realize that, unfortunately, it was not a reality. Other nights, Lea had nightmares about her telling him how she loved Roxas rather than him, or a graphic scene of Xion committing suicide.

None of that mattered, because he would never see her again.

* * *

Today, Xion was visiting the Radiant Garden. She had always admired the sky there, in its multihued splendor. After exploring her unclear contemplations, she had finally come to a conclusion for all of this.

Suicide.

Not returning to Sora, to be exact, but taking her own life. If she were to go back to Sora, it would be not much different than erasing the existence of the girl that Axel loved. She couldn't do that. By actual suicide, she would be murdering the girl that Axel loved. At least, that way, she would still leave the world as herself.

Day after day, Xion had tried to find a reason that she didn't need Axel to carry on. She failed. To her, nothing was significant without him there beside her. She knew she wasn't strong. _I'm broken, just like Sai'x said._

She followed the graveled streets in silence, darting her eyes around to check for any good, unoccupied spots. But, did she really want to die? Of course, she wanted nothing more than to have Axel back, but did she actually want her life to end? She continued the path onward. There was no need to question her intent.

Xion wanted to reminisce about that mystifying sky before her death. No matter what the time of day (excluding the nighttime, of course), the stretch of orange, pink, yellow, purple—it was always on display to for the awe of spectators. It would warm the farewell, at best.

There was a cliff in the distance, just underneath the skies of the Radiant Garden, facing the castle. It was perfect. Xion figured that she could simply jump from the edge, and the pressure from the fall would kill her before she even neared the ground. It was an alarmingly long drop, and wouldn't be too painful.

Step by step walked Xion to the cliff's edge. It wasn't pointed upward; in fact, it almost appeared that the ledge had been torn off. Pebbles crumbled beneath her feet and she watched them fall into the arms of the bottomless pit before her.

This was her last chance to change her mind.

_It's for the better. _Xion closed her eyes, took a deep breath, and thought of Axel.

* * *

Lea raised an eyebrow when he noticed a raven-haired girl, clothes tattered, outwardly prepared to jump from the cliff. The thought crossed his mind to try and stop her, but he figured that it would be better not to interfere. She was a tortured soul looking for freedom, so why should he take that away?

He walked until the girl was only visible from the corner of his eye. Was she having second thoughts? Whatever the matter, it was none of his business. The suicide rate in the Radiant Garden was almost at zero, so there was a great possibility that this girl was from another world. He stopped walking. Why was he still thinking about it? Didn't he just agree not to interfere?

Slowly, Lea turned his head to check. She was still standing there, evidently quite an indecisive suicidal. He felt an undeterminable pang in his heart. There was something familiar about that dark hair, that perfect figure, that awkward standing position.

_Could it be…no…_

He then found himself running to her precarious frame, but made sure to stop himself once he was behind her.

"Hey, what do you think you're doing?" asked Lea. When the girl turned to face him, his heart stopped.

It was _her_.

Although it was as he had suspected, it still hit him like a strike of lightning. It felt that he hadn't seen her in eons. Was this happening? Was he hallucinating, or driven mad by loneliness? Lea resisted the urge to touch her face that looked to be even more beautiful than before, most likely because he hadn't seen her in so long. He had to.

Xion stood there, mouth agape, lip quivering, questioning her own sanity. Was it really him? Although he looked notably similar, his appearance didn't establish that he was Axel. It was that voice that had her unable to find her right mind. She knew Axel's voice better than anyone, and she could never mistake it for anyone else's. She couldn't have been hearing things. It sounded too real, too clear…

"Axel…" she said unstably and very inaudibly. It sounded as if a small toddler had just spoken. The sound of that voice, _her_ voice, was nearly more than Lea could take. But he was no longer the man that she longed for. He wasn't Axel. Not to mention that he had a heart, and it would make Xion feel that she couldn't give back to him. If she felt unequal or inferior, he couldn't give to her, either.

Suppressing sounds of pain, he replied with "Who?"

Even as a Somebody, with his feelings stronger and realer than ever, Lea was very skilled with hiding his emotions and channeling them into a mask of arrogance. He could hardly bear the sight of her expression. It looked like someone had just reached in and ripped her heart right out, if she actually had one, of course. It killed him to lie to her like that, pretending that her world was gone when it was right in front of her.

"It's me, Xion." she said, voice shaking with fear. Did he really not remember her? Maybe he really _wasn't_ Axel.

"Sorry, kid, the name doesn't ring a bell." he told her.

It hurt.

She could almost see that in his eyes, but was too distraught to take note of it.

"But, Axel!" she exclaimed. Xion reached a hand out and lightly stroked his face with her fingers. Soft skin. She had forgotten what human skin felt like, rather than her own. It felt almost no different than the way Axel's face had felt when Xion would caress him in his sleep. The only difference what that it felt _realer_, and _warmer_. Lea stopped her, reluctantly pushing her hand away. He didn't want to neglect her touch, because to him, it was the best feeling in the world.

"Look, don't call me Axel. The name's Lea. L-E-A. Got it memorized?" said Lea. Xion stopped in her tracks. He had just said…he had just said…

It _was_ him.

Even if she was no longer a part of his memory, it was definitely him. No one else used that catch phrase. _No one_. That had been his thing. She was desperate by now. Everything that she and Axel had been through; she wasn't going to just watch it walk away without even remembering her. She felt forbidden tears escape her ducts. What did it matter? She had known all along that Nobodies could feel.

He had to keep himself from flinching. Axel or Lea, he hated seeing her cry. She was breaking inside, but this time, Axel wasn't there to comfort her. Xion just wanted to be with him again. That was all.

"I'm sorry, but you've got the wrong person." he said. After giving him the saddest, most pitiable look in the eyes, she composed herself. She knew why he was doing this. Before speaking, Lea began to walk away.

"Wait!" she exclaimed. He did not comply, but his very slow pace implied that he was still listening.

"I don't care if you're a Somebody, or a Nobody, or Lea, or anybody! You're still Axel to me! I still love you even if you've changed! You may have a different name, and even a different look, but you still have the same heart, and your heart glows and burns brightly just like the flames that you control… or used to control." Xion told him. He didn't say anything in response, and continued walking. What did she mean by the "same heart"? She knew he didn't have one as a Nobody, but, perhaps she meant something... _different_...

He considered this. _What are you doing, Lea? Why are you walking away? You heard what she said!_

In a panic that she may lose contact with the one she loved, Xion ran to him. He ceased his footsteps, to her surprise, and began to speak. She had lost herself in the eyes of jade flickering back at her soft, blue ones.

"Look, the thing is…" Lea began, and he turned to her, locked his fingers around her arm, and kissed her. She had forgotten how much she loved the feel of his lips. They were warm, and even though he no longer controlled the fire element, still had that spicy flavor that drove her wild. Unwillingly, they broke free to make room for Xion's question.

"Axel... I mean... _Lea..._ does this mean you're gonna... stay with me?" she asked.

"Xion, I'll always stay with you. Got it memorized?" Xion had just one more comment to work in.

"You definitely don't _look_ the same." she said, giggling.

"Shut up."

"I was just kidding." said Xion, and then, they both smiled, for the first time in ages.


End file.
